Episode 132: The Military Spouse and the Challenge of Work

“Before my husband was in the picture I was making really good money, I was taking care of myself. And now I have to depend solely on him, and it’s hard.”

— Laura, military spouse

Laura and her kids

Why is it so hard to combine a career with military life? That's the question we look at in this show, brought to you by Stacy Raine, a military wife herself.

Women who marry a US service member often start out with careers of their own. But as time goes by and families move around the country, military spouses find it tough to find work. This show looks at the reasons behind that, what we can do to change the status quo, and why the rest of us should care.

Are you or have you been a military spouse? I'd love to hear from you in the comments. 

Episode 131: Would You Work in a Women-Only Space?

“What’s happening here is people are feeling comfortable and not drowned out, and like they’re being heard.”

— Mallory Kasdan

Mallory Kasdan in the podcast studio at The Wing in Dumbo, Brooklyn

“We’re supposed to be championing diversity, and women have done so much to do that. And this felt like we were going a little bit backwards.”

— Amy Rowe

Women-only workspaces are becoming more and more popular for freelancers and entrepreneurs. One such space, The Wing, has garnered a lot of press and is opening branches in multiple US cities as well as abroad. For fans, these spaces are a haven for professional women. But others say a women-only office is no triumph for equality. 

In this show I visit the Brooklyn branch of The Wing and meet up with one of its members, podcaster Mallory Kasdan. I also talk to former TBE guest Leigh Stringer, a workplace expert, and to UK-based Amy Rowe. Amy works from a co-working space herself, but it has plenty of men - and she likes it that way. 

The Wing in Dumbo, Brooklyn

What do you think? Would you work out of a women-only space if you had the chance? Or does the whole idea seem like a step backwards?

You can also read a transcript of the show.

Further reading:

Here's Leigh Stringer's piece for Slate on why women are drawn to female-only workspaces.

Episode 130: How to Make the Most of Your Time (re-release)

“If people are thinking about taking an 80 percent schedule I would caution against that, because it is quite possible to slack for twenty percent of the time and still get paid for it.”

— Laura Vanderkam

Photo by Shaiith/iStock / Getty Images

We say it repeatedly - that we're 'crazy busy' and 'don't have time' for various things we enjoy, or used to. The pressure of work and life is too much.

Or is it?

In this show I talk to author and journalist Laura Vanderkam about women and time management. Her book is I Know How She Does It - How Successful Women Make the Most of Their Time. Laura says many of us buy into a negative storyline about what's (im)possible as a worker and a parent. She argues there are ways to have a senior job and a family and not lose your mind - you just have to think creatively.

You can also read a transcript of the show.

Further reading: If listening to the show has inspired you to keep track of your own hours for a week, you can download one of Laura's timesheets here: http://lauravanderkam.com/manage-your-time/

If you'd like to read more about that lawyer who quit Clifford Chance after at least one terrible day, here's her goodbye email.

And this Harvard Business Review piece, Why Some Men Pretend to Work 80 Hour Weeks, is by Erin Reid, the Boston University researcher who studied men and women at a large global consulting firm.

Episode 129: Will they Still Like Me? The Power of Negotiation (part 2)

“I was worried that if I was negotiating on behalf of myself...it would diminish their opinion of me. They would think I was demanding too much or that I was being too bold.”

— Neda Frayha

Photo by Paul Bradbury/OJO Images / Getty Images

Neda frayha

When Neda Frayha landed her first job as a physician she didn't even think to negotiate. The money was a big jump from what she'd been earning as a medical resident. Who was she to complain? Then years later she learned she was on less money than a lot of her peers. 

In this episode Neda talks about her route to becoming a negotiator. We discuss her fears along the way, the need to be liked and the concern that she was being 'too pushy' (she wasn't).

This is the second of two episodes on the art of negotiation. You can find part one with negotiation trainer Natalie Reynolds here. 

You can also read a transcript of the show.

Further reading: Natalie Reynolds is the author of We Have a Deal - how to negotiate with intelligence, flexibility and power.

Sara Laschever and Linda Babcock are co-authors of Women Don't Ask and Ask For It, a book that's helped me a lot over the years.

Neda Frayha highly recommends the chapter on negotiation in Feminist Fight Club, by Jessica Bennett. 

As promised, here's one of Margaret Neale's videos on negotiation. You can read more about her here.

Here's a story I did for NPR in 2014 on the phenomenon of women negotiating better for other people than they do for themselves. 

And here's a podcast I did with Sara Laschever in 2016 for Convene Magazine on women becoming more effective negotiators.

Sara and I also spoke for an early episode of The Broad Experience on what can happen when women negotiate with other women. 

Episode 128: You're Worth It - the Power of Negotiation (part 1)

“The best negotiators hear a ‘no’ and they view it as an invitation to keep going...when life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.”

— Natalie Reynolds

Natalie Reynolds

This is part one of the show you asked for on negotiation.

Negotiation is a powerful tool to help anyone get what they want. But a lot of women have trouble negotiating a new job offer or a raise. The idea of asking for stuff for ourselves makes many of us cringe. We tend to back down too quickly when the other party makes us a low offer. But when we negotiate hard, research shows that women can get backlash because we're acting out of a character for a nice, meek female. 

Natalie Reynolds says, who cares? Don't be put off by the stereotypes around negotiation - instead, learn how to negotiate well. And that doesn't mean 'acting like a man.' Natalie is the founder and CEO of negotiation consultancy Advantage Spring and the author of We Have a Deal. 

I've reported a lot on women and negotiation over the years but I learned things from Natalie that I'd never thought about before. There's a lot packed into this show. I hope you enjoy it. 

You can also read a transcript of the show. 

Comments are welcome as usual, below or on the Facebook page. 

Episode 127: Resilience

“Even if his father had lived I think I still would have worked this hard, because I think it’s important first of all for me to have my own identity...but I also think it’s good for a boy to see his mother go to work.”

— Dana Canedy

Dana Canedy

"Empower yourself. You will be underestimated and misunderstood. Do it anyway." Those were some of the first words I heard Dana Canedy speak at a women's careers event earlier this year. In this show I ask her to expand on that advice.

Dana was the first person in her family to go to college. She had dreamed of being a writer from childhood, and had a long career in journalism, much of it at the New York Times. But along the way she experienced terrible loss. Now she is a single mother to a 12-year-old boy and she runs the Pulitzer Prizes, the first woman and person of colour to do so. In this episode she talks about resilience, handling yourself at work, and the joy of giving back.

You can also read a transcript of the show. 

Further reading: Dana's book about her relationship with Charles King, his loss and the aftermath is called A Journal for Jordan. It's being made into a movie, with Denzel Washington slated to direct.