Episode 128: You're Worth It - the Power of Negotiation (part 1)

The best negotiators hear a ‘no’ and they view it as an invitation to keep going...when life shuts a door, open it again. It’s a door, that’s how they work.
— Natalie Reynolds
 Natalie Reynolds

Natalie Reynolds

This is part one of the show you asked for on negotiation.

Negotiation is a powerful tool to help anyone get what they want. But a lot of women have trouble negotiating a new job offer or a raise. The idea of asking for stuff for ourselves makes many of us cringe. We tend to back down too quickly when the other party makes us a low offer. But when we negotiate hard, research shows that women can get backlash because we're acting out of a character for a nice, meek female. 

Natalie Reynolds says, who cares? Don't be put off by the stereotypes around negotiation - instead, learn how to negotiate well. And that doesn't mean 'acting like a man.' Natalie is the founder and CEO of negotiation consultancy Advantage Spring and the author of We Have a Deal

I've reported a lot on women and negotiation over the years but I learned things from Natalie that I'd never thought about before. There's a lot packed into this show. I hope you enjoy it. 

You can also read a transcript of the show

Comments are welcome as usual, below or on the Facebook page

Episode 127: Resilience

Even if his father had lived I think I still would have worked this hard, because I think it’s important first of all for me to have my own identity...but I also think it’s good for a boy to see his mother go to work.
— Dana Canedy
 Dana Canedy

Dana Canedy

"Empower yourself. You will be underestimated and misunderstood. Do it anyway." Those were some of the first words I heard Dana Canedy speak at a women's careers event earlier this year. In this show I ask her to expand on that advice.

Dana was the first person in her family to go to college. She had dreamed of being a writer from childhood, and had a long career in journalism, much of it at the New York Times. But along the way she experienced terrible loss. Now she is a single mother to a 12-year-old boy and she runs the Pulitzer Prizes, the first woman and person of colour to do so. In this episode she talks about resilience, handling yourself at work, and the joy of giving back.

You can also read a transcript of the show

Further reading: Dana's book about her relationship with Charles King, his loss and the aftermath is called A Journal for Jordan. It's being made into a movie, with Denzel Washington slated to direct. 

Episode 126: The Hell of Networking (re-release)

We think of networking as, ‘I’m going to meet this person so they can do something for me.’ And I think that is toxic on so many levels.
— Kimberly Weisul
Photo by Rawpixel/iStock / Getty Images
Photo by Rawpixel/iStock / Getty Images

All the career manuals say it: to get ahead at work, you have to keep expanding your network. But for a lot of women there's something cringey about networking, from walking up to strangers and introducing yourself to the feeling of fakeness networking can induce. In this show I talk to three guests about how to get over a horror of networking, and why you should bother.


My guests are Kimberly Weisul, Dorie Clark, and Mary Kopczynski. 

You can find full show notes on the original episode page

You can also read a transcript of the show

If you have networking tips or horrors you want to share, post in the comments below - I'd love to hear from you.

Episode 125: Saying No to Office Housework

I’m interested in breaking down the stereotype of what office housework is.
— Ruchika Tulshyan
Photo by DutchScenery/iStock / Getty Images
Photo by DutchScenery/iStock / Getty Images

Women, and particularly women of colour, get lumbered with most of the office housework. What counts as office housework? Ordering lunch, clearing up after a meeting, sending out meeting notes. But it's also the less obvious things, such as taking part in committees or mentoring, things that an organization needs to get done (or be seen to get done), and that women disproportionately take on. Meanwhile men perform more of what law professor Joan Williams calls the 'glamor' work, the more visible stuff that can lead to accolades and promotions.

In this show I speak with journalist Ruchika Tulshyan about what women can do to push back on these requests, while treading the ever-fine line between deference and standing up for themselves.

 Ruchika Tulshyan

Ruchika Tulshyan

Here's Ruchika's Harvard Business Review piece on how women can say no to office housework. And here's Joan C. Williams' piece on her research into office housework and what organizations can do to make sure their female employees don't end up doing it all.

You can also read a transcript of the show.

Episode 124: Fair Pay, part 2: Transparency Matters

Younger generations have way different expectations around pay transparency than previous generations.
— Lydia Frank
Photo by RomoloTavani/iStock / Getty Images
Photo by RomoloTavani/iStock / Getty Images
Men in Iceland are used to the claims of women and support it to a certain extent. At the same time we’ve had a rather polarized debate in Iceland.
— Thorgerdur Einarsdottir

This is the second part of a two-episode show on women's pay. You can find the first show here

In this one we talk about why companies should be more transparent about their pay practices. Payscale's Lydia Frank says you don't have to brandish everyone's paychecks, but let's end the silence around compensation. It's not rude to discuss money at work - people want to make sure they're being paid fairly. And we talk to University of Iceland professor Thorgerdur Einarsdottir about Iceland's new equal pay law. It puts the onus on employers, not employees, to ensure men and women are getting paid the same for equal work.

Finally, we come back to negotiation: is it fair that women have to negotiate for better pay when studies show many of us hate doing it and fare worse then men? 

You can also read a transcript of the show.

Episode 123: Fair Pay, part 1: It Begins with Babysitting

I found that very puzzling that most of the time mothers did the negotiating with the babysitters. But even they had biases about what to pay men and women.
— Yasemin Besen-Cassino
Photo by SbytovaMN/iStock / Getty Images
Photo by SbytovaMN/iStock / Getty Images
Female MBAs who were asking for raises just as much as their male counterparts got them far less often.
— Lydia Frank
 Yasemin Besen-Cassino

Yasemin Besen-Cassino

In this first episode of a two-part show on pay we look at the pay gap, but we start a lot earlier than most people do - with teenagers. 

My first guest, Yasemin Besen-Cassino, has found a pay gap between men and women first emerges at age 14. More and more boys are babysitting these days, and lo and behold, they're paid more than girls. Surprised? So was I. Until I thought about it. It's fascinating stuff. Yasemin is the author of The Cost of Being a Girl.  

 Lydia Frank

Lydia Frank

My second guest, Lydia Frank, is a VP at Payscale. We discuss the motherhood penalty, pay transparency, and why female MBAs can't seem to get a break, despite their excellent qualifications. Lydia and I will continue our conversation in part two of the show, which is out next week.

We'll also pay a quick visit to Iceland to talk about that country's new equal pay law, which puts the onus on employers to prove they're paying their people fairly. 

You can also read a transcript of the show

Show notes:  Here's the podcast episode on the pay gap that I recommended during the show, from HBR's Women at Work podcast. It features Professor Claudia Goldin among others. I thoroughly enjoyed the whole series

Here's an interview with Goldin and a video explaining her research on the part flexibility - or lack of it - plays in the pay gap.

The BBC show Analysis did a great episode earlier this year on why and how women are biased against women, and what we can do about it. Find it on your podcast app by searching for 'Analysis.' 

Here's more information on Payscale's survey that revealed female MBAs get the raise they ask for less often than their male counterparts. 

And here's a recent Financial Times article called the MBA Gender Pay Gap that backs up those findings, in which three women speak honestly and mostly anonymously about their attempts to get equal pay.