Episode 156: An Immigrant's Tale

“I adapted pretty quickly...this is my new circumstance and I have to figure out how to go forward from here. Obviously I look back, but I can’t be tied to that because it’s going to weigh me down. ”

— Fernanda Santos

Fernanda at work, covering a march for climate change in phoenix

Fernanda Santos moved to the U.S. from Brazil to go to graduate school, but ended up staying and forging a career in journalism. Her work is a thread throughout this episode (she was an early believer in the mantra ‘never work for free’), but this story is also about life and its unexpected twists, and how Fernanda’s immigrant experience -and journalist training - helped when she was forced to confront a future she never expected.

Fernanda, Mike and Flora in June 2017

You can also read a transcript of the show.

Fernanda, Flora and Clint in December 2019

Fernanda’s articles: Check out her website to read all about her work, but I loved these three pieces about her life since 2017.

Who Will Wear My Dead Husband’s Clothes?

I Felt Safe in America. Until El Paso.

What Do You Say When Someone Loses Their Job?

Episode 155: Firefighter

“It’s not all about the brave fireman striding through the smoke to throw the damsel in distress over his shoulder and stride off into the sunset. There are lots of skills that make a good firefighter.”

— Stephanie Looi

Image via stocksy

“I feel like everybody needs to have that moment in their life where something you did, not something your kid did, made you so proud it made your chest tight. And that’s that pride that comes from serving your community.”

— Kassie Stevens

Stephanie looi

Some of us have two jobs: one that pays us, one that sustains us in another way. In this episode we meet two women who volunteer as firefighters. Stephanie Looi and Kassie Stevens have faced challenges in their roles, but each feels lucky to be doing something so important for their communities.

Kassie stevens with stepson riley

Stephanie just went through Australia's devastating fire season and had to make decisions she never thought she would. Kassie faces incredulous reactions when she shows up to a call, and sometimes hostility as well. But they both say it's a privilege to serve - and to inspire other women.

This show is about being a firefighter, but it’s also about the satisfaction that comes from volunteering, and helping other people.

It’s thanks to Kassie’s fiancé Shaun Pryor that I found out about her work in the first place.

Shaun, Kassie, and Riley

You can also read a transcript of the show.

Episode 154: Straight Talk + Empathy: Women, Men, and Leadership in Crisis

“Some of the emerging women leaders are offering a new tone and some really inspiring leadership, and I think that’s just a wonderful thing to keep in mind as we all go to our voting booths in the next few years.”

— Avivah Wittenberg-Cox

Photo credit: Evgeni Tcherkasski

“If you look at Merkel’s style, it’s very tough, short, concise, fact-based communication, very different not just from Trump but Andrew Cuomo, who spends an hour a day talking to us about his mum and recipes for pasta.”

— Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic

avivah wittenberg-cox

You’ve probably seen some of the stories: women leaders around the world are “stepping up to show the world how to manage a messy patch for our human family.” I’m quoting one of this week’s guests, Avivah Wittenberg-Cox, from her Forbes piece on women leaders’ success during the pandemic. She and other writers on this topic make the same point: when you look at countries with the best coronavirus outcomes so far, they often have one thing in common - a woman at the top.

tomas chamorro-premuzic

In this week’s show I meet up - online, of course - with Avivah and another former guest, Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, author of Why Do So Many Incompetent Men Become Leaders?

We discuss the leadership styles we’re seeing during this global crisis, why Andrew Cuomo can chat about recipes on TV where Jacinda Ardern probably couldn’t, and whether today’s successful female leaders will change anything for women in the future.

You can also read a transcript of the show.

Further reading: Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic’s piece, also in Forbes, on whether female leaders might be better at managing the pandemic.

I also reference this Washington Post article by Zoe Marks during the episode.

The Pandemic Has Revealed the Weakness of Strongmen by Helen Lewis in The Atlantic.

Episode 153: Partnership in the Pandemic

“Only half of couples who divide everything up in an...equal way report that their relationship is fair, whereas nearly 100% of those who are doing all the tasks jointly report that their relationship is fair. ”

— Dan Carlson

anna lagerdahl and her family

Last month an article appeared in The Atlantic with the title The Coronavirus is a Disaster for Feminism. One striking line reads, ‘The coronavirus smashes up the bargain that so many dual-earner couples have made in the developed world: We can both work because someone else is looking after our children. Instead, couples will have to decide which one of them takes the hit.’

But is that true?

Kristen elworthy and her husband craig with nick, sienna, and Emilia

In this episode we meet three married women in Canada, the US, and the UK, and one (male) sociologist, Daniel Carlson, who has studied couples and the division of labour in the home.

Kristen Elworthy and Anna Lagerdahl have children and Samantha Murphy doesn’t. Each has found the pandemic has affected her work/life balance in unexpected ways. And it’s not all about housework and childcare - women may be carrying a greater emotional load at this time, which affects many aspects of our lives.

I found out about Dan Carlson’s work through a series of tweets he wrote, giving men some tips on how to help out more at home.

You can also read a transcript of the show.

Episode 152: Young Breadwinner

“I knew from the beginning that this was a fun thing to do but it was also a financial thing to do, and that I was helping my family access a better quality of life. And that above all is what made me happy. ”

— Marie

Marie on location for a movie, early 1990s

Having her hair and make up done on set

My guest in this episode started working right around the time most of us started school.

Marie was just five years old when her acting work began supporting her entire family. She loved the work and while she never went to school, by the time she was 15 she was already an experienced professional.

But as she got older she noticed all the best parts were going to the boys, while the roles she was getting relied on her looks. Her dreams of continuing in acting were dashed when she realized what she was expected to do to get better parts.

Today she has a totally different career, but she’ll never forget what show business taught her - about professionalism, teamwork, and sexism.

You can also read a transcript of the show.

Further reading: The Center for the Study of Women in Television and Film has statistics about the numbers of women today who work in front of the camera and behind it.

The number of female protagonists in movies has gone up quite a lot in recent years. But behind the scenes where the real power lies, men still hold about 80 percent of positions - and that’s a big improvement.

Episode 151: Mary Lou at 94

“I expected to get married...all my friends were getting married...I started taking law courses, but it never occurred to me to stop and become a lawyer - never occurred to me.”

— Mary Lou

Mary lou in october 2019

In this episode we meet a 20th century woman who has bucked convention in more ways than one.

Mary Lou in her 1942 high school yearbook under her nickname, ‘walla’

Mary Lou landed her first job as a telephone operator in 1941, and went on to become a social worker and then a teacher.

Along the way she married, had six children, divorced, and became a (very) independent woman. She’s had a lot of adventures.

Today, at almost 95, she’s settled down with her partner Al and tells me, ‘I’ve had a fantastic life.’

She’s a true broad.

You can also read a transcript of the show.